Have you ever given any serious thought about what the word "lust" actually means? Several years ago, I wrote a blog post on the issue of lust. Though it does answer the question, there are several problems I have recently noticed about that post that I will correct here. And by "correct it", I mean redo the whole blog post (the original is linked above for you to read if you wish).
The term "lust" seems to be a term that everybody knows about, but very few actually know the meaning of. Most people are also probably very confident that they do know what the term means. It is almost universally defined as being exclusively sexual in nature, and as including sexual desires, arousal, and gratification, among other things. And nearly everyone considers all lust to be sin. The purpose of this post is to answer the question, "How does the Bible define lust?"
Most of what is traditionally taught about lust comes from the "New Testament". And mostly from Matthew 5:27-28, which says:
[27] You have heard that it was said to those of old, "You shall not commit adultery." [28] But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. [NKJV]
If someone claims that something is a sin, and their only evidence of that is from the New Testament, it shows that he or she does not understand Scripture. In particular, that Torah alone defines sin, and the commandment in Deuteronomy 12:32 to not add to Yahweh's commandments applies equally to all people. But I am going to show from the New Testament alone that Yeshua's teaching on lust comes directly from Torah.
The first thing to note is that most people define lust as "adultery of the heart" (based Matthew 5:27-28). The attempt to get the definition from the Bible is admirable, but "adultery of the heart" is meaningless if we do not know the definition of adultery. Even then, "adultery of the heart" is still meaningless if we cannot determine what does and does not count as such. All we can tell without any definitions, is that what is in the heart, if acted upon, would be adultery. As usual, we are going to look to the Bible for our definitions. And if we find our definitions in the Bible, we will disregard all other definitions.
Leviticus 20:10 defines adultery for a man. Any man who has sex with another man's wife is guilty of adultery. This single statement in Torah provides us with all of the information we need to know about the definition of adultery. A man who has sex with a married woman who is not his own wife commits adultery. And a married woman who has sex with a man other than her own husband is guilty of adultery. It is impossible for a man to commit adultery with an unmarried woman, and it is impossible for an unmarried woman to commit adultery. It should also be noted that under this definition, a man can have multiple wives at the same time without committing adultery, but a woman who has more than one husband at a time does commit adultery (along with her second husband).
As mentioned earlier, having this concrete definition for adultery alone is not enough to know what part of the law Yeshua (Jesus) is teaching us. But here's something that was pointed out to me recently: the word translated as "woman" in Matthew 5:28 is "gyne", which contrary to what Blue Letter Bible's "Outline of Biblical Usage" block claims, is not, I repeat, not, the generic word for "woman". It's the word that is used to refer specifically to married women. But even if it wasn't, we will see shortly that the passage still qualifies itself as referring specifically to married women.
Now we come to the word "lust". The Greek word is "epithymeo", which means "to desire" or "to covet". In fact, we find the following statement in the KJV:
What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet. [Romans 7:7; KJV]
Here, the words translated as "lust" and "covet" are simply different forms of the same word. Blue Letter Bible distinguishes the forms as different words here. In this case, "epithymia" for "lust" and "epithymeo" for "covet". What's the difference? I have no clue. I don't think there is one in this case. Also, some Bible study tools do not reliably distinguish between two forms of the same word. You will notice this when the distinction actually does matter, because why would this not be the case? I have learned that the hard way.
So "lust" is just another word for "covet" and therefore has no functional difference from "covet". Also note that Paul appears to be quoting the law as if the whole commandment is "do not covet". He is not actually doing this. By quoting part of the commandment, he is invoking the whole commandment and assuming that you know the whole commandment. Here is what he is invoking:
You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's. [Exodus 20:17; NKJV]
Now we can see what Yeshua (Jesus) is really teaching in Matthew 5:27-28. Yeshua is saying that if you covet your neighbor's wife (a violation of the 10th Commandment), then you have already committed adultery with her (a violation of the 7th Commandment) in your heart. I bet you did not know that lust is actually the letter of the law. And also that you thought adultery was the letter of the law while lust was the heart of the law. Our Lord never added anything to God's commandments by calling anything "sin" that Torah itself did not already call "sin".
We can see by this correct definition of lust (that is, "to strongly desire" or "to covet") that not all lust is sin. And if you think about it, if all lust was sin, then it would be impossible to marry. For a man can only get married if he first lusts after the woman that he marries, and a woman can only get married if she first lusts after the man that she marries.
A man who lusts after an unmarried woman, and acts correctly on that lust, marries her. An unmarried woman who lusts after a man, and acts correctly on that lust, marries him. If they act incorrectly on that lust, then they will have sex before marriage, which is not adultery, but is a sin (see the first note at the end of this post). Likewise, a man who lusts after his own wife, and a woman who lusts after her own husband, never sin. But a man who lusts after his neighbor's wife, or a married woman who lusts after a man who is not her husband, always sins. By the way, this is why I said earlier that Yeshua (Jesus) did not have to specify "married woman" in his teaching about lust. It is because the Scriptures that he invoked did the specifying for him.
This definition of lust also means that lust is not restricted to sexual contexts. You can lust after your neighbor's house, for example. If you lust after your neighbor's house, it means that you desire to have your neighbor's house. This type of lust has no sexual connotations to it. Nonetheless, it is still wrong.
Also, most importantly, this definition of lust proves that lust is always a choice that you make. It is not seeking sexual gratification or pleasure, or being sexually aroused by something. It is not even sexual temptation (or any kind of temptation). It is a choice to desire to have something that you cannot legally (by Torah's definition of "legal") obtain. It is therefore not something that can be "triggered" by certain stimuli unless the person choses it.
Having one's eyes drawn to a beautiful woman is not lust, for human eyes are designed to be drawn to physical beauty, and the human form is designed to be beautiful, being made in the image of God [Genesis 1:26-27]. And God called all that he created "very good" [Genesis 1:31]. Finding a woman to be attractive is also not lust (even if it is your neighbor's wife). It is God's design working as intended. Whether you covet her is a choice that is entirely up to you. Also note that Yeshua (Jesus) never said that it's looking at a woman that is lust. Rather, he said that it is looking at a (married) woman with lust that is the sin.
By the way, Yeshua puts 100% of the blame for lust on the man who is committing the lust. None of the blame goes onto the woman whom the man is lusting after. Likewise, if a married woman lusts after a man who is not her husband, then 100% of the blame for her lust falls on her, and none of it falls on the man whom she is lusting after.
Remember, Yeshua told us plainly that we shall know the truth, and the truth will set us free [John 8:32]. Now that you have knowledge of the true definition of lust and that it is entirely under your control, you can be free from the constant fear of "accidentally" lusting after a woman just from seeing her (regardless of what she is wearing).Notes:
1. Our modern use of the English word "fornication" means "premarital" or "extramarital" sex. The Bible however, does not give a specific name to that sin. Instead, English Bibles use the word "fornication" to mean "prostitution".
2. This is not freedom to exploit any perceived loopholes. It is freedom from the enemy's accusations against you for things that are part of God's very good design.
3. The full meaning of the word "covet" is to desire to have something strongly enough that you are willing to do something to get what you want.
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